OUR SOUL AND SPIRIT xx

Hi  I hope you have all been well, I have and been getting  some messages about our souls and the evolvement of the human soul.. When I went on my walk last Wednesday I was thinking about things one being our souls and how in spirit our souls don't hold fear or the negative emotions that we do on earth that is because in spirit we are full immersed in our own light it is the light of LOVE as no fear exists for it is a total feeling of peace and feeling of being so loved.. It just come to me that while we are in a mediative state we are in that space of peace and love so that is why we can hear our higher self, guides, spirit a lot clearer because our human ego mind is shut down..   "God is Spirit an energy of life that is within all we see and that of which we can't see or perceive with a human 3d mind. That spirit energy is LOVE"..

 

This is word for word what came through on my walk on Wednesday (10 June 2015) remember our true soul self holds no fear for in spirit it comes from love and is fully in the light  when we die it is our soul from this incarnation that heads towards the light that light is the rest of our soul and spirit as it is all in the mix of who we are, our guides and oversoul and the other parts and pieces of our life and all incarnations are a part of our soul makeup and  that is our oversoul our true makeup is spirit as a whole we are not separate from god or the angels for they are a part of every living thing and a part of our own makeup..  So in spiritual truth you only need to believe in yourself for you are a piece of god the same piece that makes me "who I am"  and "you who you are" that is our souls the only thing that sets us apart is our previous incarnations and our belief system which is carried through each life so our soul choose which path to take always on each life cycle it has because our soul needs to accomplish lessons on earth and also to balance energy from other incarnations that is called karma.. So we are always the master creator of everything that does happen in our lives from who we meet who we fall in love with or how long we are to stay together for when the lessons are learnt it is time for us to walk away for our soul contract with others has been paid after the lesson and the fact we had changed because of that meeting. In life nothing is ever an accident, coincidence  or mistake as we plan the most painful experiences to bring us to our own soul growth and the evolution that is taking place for this new energy..

OUR TRUE SOUL SELF

Our soul is the divine part of who we are, we are all a spiritual force of God so our soul is the seed of the Christ-consciousness that we are, our soul is the spirit of us our emotional body. So we are all god seeds but not fully awakened to who we are as our true soul self hides behind our shadow our human side of our fears so we are our ego's until the soul has had a wake up call to reveal the true soul that was created. So to awaken and to stand in our soul power we need to lose all fears that give ego power. God is LOVE so that is our true power that will bring peace on earth and bring us the abundance we need for all incarnations on earth have brought us to this place and the new energy, as with all incarnations of facing our fears and defeating them has made our souls evolve. Not every soul is at the same stage of awakening so only those that have those Christ Consciousness seeds will be rising at this time to help bring in this new template of the soul that is already evolved. So old souls that walk the earth are recalling all past lives and bringing in wisdom and holding that new energy which is LOVE and LIGHT that goes to the core of the "crystalline grid" and the

"magnetic grid" that helps to store the energy that will raise all consciousness to a spiritual level that goes back to our soul core of the seed of creation of which all souls were born. So we are all energy of God (spirit) but not fully awakened to our own power as a human as the energy on earth is dense which is being corrected as earth itself goes through the ascension process as the spirit of mother earth (Gaia) leaves us to take care of our own planet so the environmental light workers are taking up that challenge while every other light worker has their own challenge and mission which will be found within that  soul core as this plan was written in  our souls DNA when we were created. So it is time to awaken to your true soul self and come from love and light and look for all life answers that are held within your very soul so "Who are You?" and what is your path, follow your heart for all gets revealed  through our emotional body our soul and spirit of God our divine life force energy of all that is, because we are all connected through  spirit. Love and light xx

I have been putting these messages that come through on my Facebook page so I have been using that a bit more lately or jotting them on my phone to put up on my blog so I am still here but in other places on the net as my time is spread around and the messages can come in at any time so it is a matter for me to get my act together and put them all on the blog to help you on your journey as I go through my own,  because we are all different but our souls are the same how we connect to spirit can be individual as I asked Kyron and other spirits this myself as I listen to others and hear their journey I know my own connection to spirit seems different mainly because I keep hearing they see angels or different colours and they can even name guides and angels, but with my own spiritual journey I don't seem to get any of that so just a connection straight through to spirit as my soul has melded with all that is so individual spirits don't seem to come through unless I draw the cards or invoke the energy of a certain being I do call on Jesus at times and a lot on Archangel Michael but mostly I just use the collective term of spirit or angel as in truth they are but one part of spirit and the divine so really not separated like our soul as it is all one big connection of energy that is our makeup.. As I do go further into finding out "Who I am" I am led to various places by spirit that point me to exactly where it is I need to go for all the things resonate within my own soul as to who my true soul is.. I have been reading a bit from Tobias and Adamus  (he is Saint Germain) channelled through Geoffrey Hoppe from the Crimson Circle.. Tobias was an ascended master that had been on earth before and he returned as a walk in to a Sam in 2009 so he will turn up somewhere in the future to help guide us all with his wisdom.. I do know my soul so well so does yours and when you come into contact to things your guides lead you to, your soul knows it is your soul by the very coincidences that have happened to you on your life journey.. Your heart and emotions know the truth always so don't second guess your feelings as your soul does know the reason and the mission you came here for when you find your life purpose synchronicity will have you collide to the right people that will help you awaken to your true soul, for they may know yours as well.. My soul has actually found out a lot since I did first ask the question on that day up the cemetery about "who am I" and why was my life like it was and the fact no-body really knew the real me, not even my family that is what I have been discovering since 5th May of 2013 that day I was so heartbroken.

On a Sunday I have been doing free card readings on my Facebook page (well all my readings are free at the moment) the angels will probably let me know if that should change but I'm happy for now to do it for pleasure as it makes me happy to help others.. So pop on over and like my page and put your name down if you want a card drawn especially for you..

On the Wednesday just past this message came in for me so it went straight on my FB page because I started typing it up just before I had to clock on for work at 2pm so I did start it at home but made a quick dash to work as it was 1:44.. here is the cut and paste off my page because I need to add it to my blog as well for you can ask your angels anything and they will answer you, it may be instantly or it may take days as time is infinite if you are in spirit so they will wait for you to be able to receive the message for sometimes you may miss it, but don't worry they will make sure you get it as it will be coming up for you all the time until you act on what it was you asked, angels don't do your work for you as they are not to interfere with your freewill as that was the rule when we were created so it is not one that is broken unless your life is in danger and it is not your time to leave then they may take on human form at least for a nano second before they disappear.

ANGEL MESSAGE AFTER REQUEST TO USE NUMBERS. (Wed 17 June 2015)

This morning at work I asked the angels to send me some messages in numbers so now I keep seeing the 1 and 4 so signs the angels are around with the messages to stay positive as the angels are supporting you with love and guidance. It is not only me but all of us on Earth as we go through energy changes that will transform our life and soul as it evolves into a new template of 'being', so disruption may be felt in your life as the true soul awakens into a new way of being where our fears are being brought out into the light some may be from this life time but others will be brought up from your souls akashic record which is stored in mother earth and the crystalline grid this is why it is important to keep all your energies balanced and grounded to mother earth, so quiet your mind and enjoy nature if you can or when you feel your fears are taking over try to put that ego back in its box but don't ignore the feelings as they need to be released and sent up to the universe so you have peace. So when these emotional things come up in your life try not to despair but deal with the waves and call on your angels to surround you and comfort you with divine love as they hold no judgements over anything in your life they ask you forgive yourself for any transgression as it was done in order for lessons and the important soul growth to help you with this evolution of the soul. They need you to love yourself and know your own self worth on the planet earth as the veil is lifting and with it will be the remembrance of all your souls past incarnations these waves may come in slowly but the biggest remembrance will come from when you were created as you had a life mission that was encoded in your DNA so on awakening it will become decoded in your soul love will be the key to opening the door to the Christ consciousness that you are as your soul is the spirit of the God that is within you the Namaste of the human race. God is not separate from you god is the energy of love in you it is one part of the whole of creation in the universe. Love is the universal energy of life itself and why we were created to be a part of the light that is our soul. All the energies and guides you connect to are actually a part of your soul so they are not separate entities but a makeup of your soul how far you are tuned into that energy is up to you as that is the freewill God granted us to find that God that is you. Our soul is infinite and so full of light and the duality of who we are so a mix of light and dark energy, on the dense earth we tend to have the shadow of the dark that our ego uses in the way of fear but our true soul self our spirit is completely light so holds no fear. So on awakening and ascension our soul is fully in the light of who we are so our darkness and fears get melded into the God and spirit that we are .. xx Love and light xx

If you are on a spiritual journey of your own remember you should never compare your journey or path to connecting to spirit as we do all have our own senses and inner wisdom and intuition to know what is right for us, others may not understand you and some times it does seem like a lonely path as finding the God within you is meant to be a journey within your soul so you will feel so alone at times and feel like others don't understand who you are for inside you have changed as you have reached your true soul that only you will know, so others may not appreciate your journey so will call you names or tell you that you speak bullshit, so just be wary those that do not understand spirit or the working of energy that surround us come from a place of ignorance to things they do not understand and you are challenging their own belief system they have been taught maybe not just in this life time but incarnations before hand so their soul is not experienced enough from the many incarnations you might of had on earth, so don't take negativity personally as we all have soul evolution to go through at our own soul pace the one we can handle.. As you open your heart and mind wider spirit will just come through you as you meld into one but you do have to let spirit know you are open and ready at any time whenever someone needs a message it will come through that is my experience so far. Sometimes you will also question yourself is this real but in your heart you know it is as we are spirit in a human form so some of us are really earth angels.. My heart feels so full of divine love at times and in early hours of the morning I can feel my heart expand so I know I am never alone and someone is sending me this divine love energy, though some days I do feel depleted in this energy as I think some times I give so much of it out and not have it returned it does have my batteries running on low, it doesn't usually last long but some days it does make me feel empty (it may be the energy vampires that accept my energy but not return it so live off it to help them) the thing is though I don't expect others to return just because I give so much of my soul to them .... so I just have to share LOVE as that is what lights us all up as it is our true soul as well as the New Energy that it is we are to live in where there is no fear left in us or around us for our souls  would of evolved.. love and light xx

11 Signs of Spiritual Awakenings that I found on Youtube..

 

Now some music Robbie Williams - Angels

Sending love and light

Until next time I will

try to blog more often

but if you don't see me

in a while check out my

Facebook page as it may be

active with angel messages

and card readings.

Take care of your

soul open your heart

and your mind so

you don't miss your

angel messages as

they will come in

if you use your intuition

for the veil will finally

lift and you will know

exactly from where it is your

soul originated from.

God our major life

force energy and spirit.

A spirit that is found in

every living cell and even

in the earth where we leave our

footprints and soul prints.

love you always

xxx

 





FEAR AND OUR TRUE SOUL SELF xx

Hi all sorry I've had a bit of a break from blogging as I've been working hard over the last couple of weekends and tiredness has got to me and more emotional turmoil with the energy that is coming in so I have been wanting to do a post on 'Fear' for it is has a lot to attribute to our behaviour and our thoughts in the negative energy stakes..
First of all an update of my beautiful grand daughter Katie she is growing so fast and I don't get to see her as often as I like as work and other commitments of life seem to get in the way of all our lives I did see her on the weekend just gone past along with a great niece whom was born 5 weeks after Katie. My daughter said she is returning back to work next month for 2 days and Katie will be going to her other grand mother as she lives next door to them on the farm that is backed up to their property.. I was going through my knitting gear and found many unfinished projects so I've picked up the knitting needles again first thing was to knit a blanket to put in bubba's pram it is done with pom pom wool so it will be quick to finish I will take it to craft group on a Tuesday night and the other UFO's (un-finished objects)  as well to get them completed.

Katie is now 15 weeks old and looks like a little Cupie doll in this photo.

 



FEAR WHAT IS IT AND CAN WE LET IT GO - SO WE CAN BE OUR TRUE SOUL SELF

FEAR or LOVE is where our emotions are based from mine always come from a place of love though fear does creep in sometimes as it is attached to our ego and will have us put ourselves down, but also it will have us acting out in anger, frustration, jealousy, worry and other negative energies that make us work on our own soul as we will see it in others as we are a mirror of all emotions towards others unless of course we can reflect those emotions and not react to someone else's fears,  which I can do as I have never been a person to act out in anger or spite. I think I still had sibling rivalry but I don't think I was ever the instigator mostly the recipient of my sisters tauntings there was mostly the 3 of us so it was usually 2 against 1 and my elder sister chose who  the ally in which teasing she wanted to play with (god love my sisters for they are put on earth to teach us many things and how to battle and compromise is one of them) I actually have 3 sisters one came much later on my 12th birthday she was my live dolly but she fought hard with my other younger sister as myself and my elder sister had moved out of home by then at the age of 17.. I was never one to throw tantrums either as they are born out of frustration over not getting what we want or expecting things from others and when they don't deliver we get angry or frustrated.

So those feelings of anger or frustration are our own fears showing up in order for our soul to make a choice in how to deal with the situation at hand so in a way they show up in order to help our soul grow so fear is a part of our own souls duality system that God gave our soul in order to live life on earth  to help our souls evolve into a new system that this energy is bringing us. It will be to a place  where our dark side (our fears) and our light side (loving nature) are tested. The light side will win out when you always come from a place of love as "Love" is god's true nature so you are finding that piece of God within you that is your true soul. (sorry if things sound repeated as I was putting my thoughts down just now and when I done this at work) ..

At work the other day I was typing out notes on this subject in the memo section of my phone.. FEAR comes from your ego and some from your previous incarnations it is our shadow self. Our soul is made up of both light and dark energy for in a world of duality we need both to survive on earth and to help us make the freewill choices that we do. Our light side are our emotions such as love, compassion, gratitude, joy and empathy towards others and their fate so this will be all positive. Our dark energy comes from fear so our emotions will be negative  hate, jealousy, spite and the need to seek revenge or to harm others but also in the process of these emotions we harm ourselves for it is our fear showing up in reactions to how we are being treated by others and also in how we treat them in return. Your true soul self holds no fear as it is in the light and a part of our major life force (the God within us) where it is protected it is in our human mind and thoughts that will let us down because that is where our ego lives in our fears and our dark shadows of the soul, it is our job to drown out those dark shadows with our divine light that comes from love. Our fears will also keep bringing up our past actions and behaviour to tell us we don't deserve another chance in life because really our fears will keep us repeating old patterns of behaviour that we know in our hearts we can improve.  If this keeps happening to you it is because you never took away the lesson from the first time you started with the behaviour in whatever the situation was if you have a repeating pattern of behaviour that you know is not appropriate those fears will stay until the lesson is learnt, your fears stay with you and may show up as emotional pain, and cause other doubts in your mind until you deal with all fears and learn to forgive yourself and others then let them go all fears will remain deep within your soul if not released. Look deep into who you are, reflect on and why you acted that way and then after reflection you should be able to let go of all emotional attachments to the situation and learn the soul lesson you came for, then be able to move onto the next stage of your life..

Our soul usually has more then one lesson in life and a lot of karmic debt depending on your previous incarnations.. Karmic debt is a balance of your own soul energy and it comes about by the choices you have made in previous life cycles on earth (so other incarnations) this is what has us meeting our soul mates and others in our soul tribe some may only come in for a short time in order to give you that soul lesson you asked that soul in spirit to help you with also because of  karmic debt you might of owed. We always incarnate with the same soul groups so you will know them by soul recognition as your soul always knows maybe before your own human recognition of someone you have met before, some people are closer to you then others for we always attract to us those of the same soul frequency so like minded people of where our soul is at the time of each lesson,  we can change frequency and by law of attraction the same like minded people will be drawn to us like a magnet because they are on the same consciousness level as you are.. Because everything is energy our emotions, thoughts, letters, numbers, absolutely every part of creation has its own energy and light frequency (quantum physics) it is all recorded in our askashic record and in the crystalline grid and that is a part of our soul so no previous incarnation ever leaves our soul the parts of it we need for each lesson on earth will always find it's way to us for our soul is so large that not all of it would fit in our human body as the energy is so great,  that is why we have a higher self and a lower self (this is also a part of our light and dark energy) but we can merge them all into one so you are directly connected to the major source of creation this is through our own divine light energy the  one of love and compassion for all of humanity itself and for the creative source and angels which are a part of the makeup of our soul so we are never separate from spirit as they are always a part of our soul it is one big fireball (or lightball) of energy though we do only call on the parts we need including help from the Angels and Spirit as they do need to be invited into your soul make up in order to help or guide you, we do have our own angels born with us but that is also a part of the whole energy system that keeps us alive or our soul working and alive.

Our heart centre is our soul centre all divine connections come straight through the heart so our emotions, our thoughts and just a knowing is a part of the wisdom that comes from our soul and our past incarnations of lives lived on Earth so the more life's your soul has had the wiser you should be as you would of been through pain, joy and all other human existence many times over and the lessons you learnt in one life may never be repeated depending on if you learnt the first time as some souls tend to repeat the same things and are most likely born with those fears still buried in their soul that will come up at some point in order for the soul to grow and deal with all past fears.. If you can release all your fears in this life or incarnation you are in now, you may be able to break free from all karmic debt you owe including those in your soul tribe with this new energy we can clear all karmic debts owed, so you call on spirit to ask if you can now be free of all karma so any debts you still owe will be released so you get to have new beginnings with your soul energy,  you can then start living in the now and making wiser choices in how you interact with people you come across when fears are shown to be coming out you may start to make a different choice in your reactions.   If you find yourself in conflict with others it is because of those fears that haven't been released so have showed up in order for you to deal with.

Learning to forgive is a part of letting go of our fears and the emotional pain in our past caused by others will continue to cause self doubts in you because you haven't forgiven yourself for the part you played in  the situation that keeps coming up within in your mind as the old emotions of pain we still carry around we have pushed  them so far down in the recesses of our soul where we don't have to face them are the basis of our fear.  When we are in a place of darkness  those old fears will come up to cause our own doubts about who we are and our own self-worth which does affect how we interact with others as we will either come from a place of anger or a place of low self esteem where we will let others treat us as worthless for in our hearts that is how we feel, so we give others our power and energy and they will take advantage of you as they can see you are vulnerable and at a place that is not equal to who they are..

Fear will also have us not reaching our full potential of who we are I remember when I was first looking for a job after my youngest son turned school age when I knew I had to find work the first job I tried for I got a rejection and it wasn't even for skilled work  they were looking for workers to go on a factory line  in a packing shed so putting apples in boxes and grading them.. so it isn't work that needed much in the way of experience it even said it in the advertisement, I had to get up at 7 in the morning to go for an interview and the man doing the interview couldn't even be on time  so early in the morning, he was very rude as he was chomping on an apple, so it was a very casual affair and at a place that was local so every body knows every body else and half the crew that works there know me, so I had the interview and the manager said he would ring me if I got the job, because I have been a stay at home mum for most of my time, my resume was lacking and so in my mind I felt worthless anyway as I hadn't been in the work force for a long time because of life and my path of where it was I was supposed to be, that was at home with my kids to help guide them and watch them grow in safety especially after losing Phillip that was were I know I was meant to be.. He rang me a few days later to say I wasn't needed (instead they put on a some of out of town people interim Chinese) when I asked why and said was it because I have been out of the workforce he said yes, so that set my mind to a place of fear thinking no-one would want to employ me now so I hardly tried I did however go onto further learning and got  a Certificate III  in Business Administration and started an Accounting course before my current job came along so my self-worth returned along with a job and my awakening all at the same time as other things were going on at that time as well to do with who I was and why I was here on earth as I felt so worthless to be me.. Everything does happen for a reason I know now that the first job was not for me as I have heard many tales of it not being a nice place to work, I do love my job now as my bosses are both great and I get to do a lot of thinking as I work as I am mostly by myself.

So our fears will have us fail for that is what our ego wants us to do drag us down to the abyss so our fear thoughts are never from our soul or heart, our fears will have us afraid to fall in love again if we have been hurt by relationships in the past as we are still holding on to those painful emotions that will have us not wanting to be hurt again those fears will have our ego having a ball with all the negative thoughts of why we will never open our hearts again to love another this will come back to not taking away that soul lesson and growth that caused the break up the lessons could of been in trust your soul usually knows the reason why things happened as they did.  So you need to face all fears or they will continue to resurface from your soul in order for you to have that soul growth, some might try to drown these fears in alcohol or with drugs as they have not dealt with the pain and want to hide from it or not go to the same place again with other relationships, jobs or any other situations in life. Most people act their fears out towards others.

 

Lies I just wanted to mention people that lie and do it constantly will do it out of fear, fear of being rejected for who they are or for what they have done to cover up a behaviour they feel ashamed of as their emotions have brought up the feelings of guilt which comes from the heart to know you have done something morally wrong towards another, the narcissist will push those feelings of guilt so far down into their soul that lying comes second nature to them so guilt turns to denial and blaming of others just so they can set themselves free from having to feel guilt so they will quite often have to play the victim of everybody else which has caused their misfortune of being caught out in lies.. Fear will turn up in all sorts of situations and our choices in what we do with those fears will determine our destiny as all lies eventually catch up with us as truth like love is a part of the divine and it can never be changed as those that speak with integrity will always be speaking from their heart so their soul and it never tells a lie as it always knows what is hidden within past and present lives over what we have done so our soul always shows up with how we react and act towards others in every situation. Violence also comes from fears that have been with held within your soul from present or past incarnations if you are born with a violent disposition your soul has come to break free of those fears if it can with those freewill choices we are born with over how we treat others, violence is also brought on by low consciousness and the need to drink alcohol or take drugs to ease that pain or fear held..

I think it helps to know where all our thoughts and feelings come from whether out of LOVE so all the positive egoless stuff which is our true soul self and our power or the thoughts born out of FEAR which will be in the negative tone towards ourselves but will show up in others as we do reflect our feeling when we interact with each others.

As I act from a place of 'Love' and I have most of my life as I have never hurt another with intention even when they hurt me I tend to leave them to their own devices as I guess as an empath they are negative emotions I really don't need so do avoid interaction with such negative people and turn the other cheek and avoid them or stay reserved before letting anyone get close to me it has been for my own protection even if I didn't know it at the time why on reflection I can clearly see my own souls truth and intentions of why I am like I am and fear has never been a big player in my life but I must still hold some past life ones as to why my shyness shows up like a wall that protects me it to is a part of being empathetic by nature..

There is no fear that shows in our soul when we return to spirit for it is fully in the light of love and peace once we leave the dense Earth atmosphere.. so you can live that way now if we learn how to face and defeat fear when it shows up in life..

I have just listened to this free recording on the Crimson Circle about Energy Vampires they would be the people that zap your energy and your self worth with their behaviour as they do come from a place of fear or expectation of you being some one they want you to be, not exactly who you are. It is well worth a listen as are other free downloads on this site if you are awakening as you will know the signs..

I've just drawn a card from Archangel Michael to add to this post about fears and hopefully help you to let go of all yours..

ASK ARCHANGEL MICHAEL TO HELP YOU WITH THIS SITUATION

So if you find yourself with fears of your own or in having to deal with others that are coming at you with fears of their own as they are a reflection of your own fears, you can call on Archangel Michael to help you with the situation and to help you with courage and confidence to deal with others and to let go of all your fears so you have no reactions and end up in a fight for fighting is a circle of fear in order to help each of the souls involved bring about lessons of resolve and to face your own fears and emotions in life that do help our soul growth.. When people are coming at you in a bullying way know it is not your fault but they like to bring others down in order to feel superior as they come from a place of fear so a low subconscious level of energy on their part, if you stand in your own soul power the fears you have will not show as you can walk away from them with your self-respect in tact as really they are only looking for your frightened reaction to their fears of being not accepted, so to turn the other cheek and to walk away will have them looking within to face their own fears as you will not be feeding them with your own.. You may still feel afraid inside when the bully comes but stand up and don't show it to them as you are giving them your soul power instead.. So call on Archangel Michael or any other angel or God and ask them to replace all your fears with love for it will bring about your own peace of mind and a sense of being your true soul self.. xx  Prayer on card "Archangel Michael, thank you for assisting me with [describe the situation]. Please help me be filled with faith and peace at all times."

After such a long post I will leave you with music and some Love and Light to beat all fears.

Some more Nickleback - I'd come for you

Sending love and light

Lose all your fears

so you can come from a

place of love for

yourself and all that

you have been through in

your life for it has all been

for a reason as all our pain

is for our soul evolution

and the lessons we

needed to come and

complete on this our

soul life earth journey.

Love is our true soul

state our own divinity.

So it is God our source

energy that is held within,

we all have lessons and

karmic debt to pay and  

to learn on earth in order for

soul growth so we can

awaken and help with love

and service to all humanity.

Love is eternal and infinite

within our souls and will

always have us connected no

matter how far apart we are

our love and souls are one

with who we are and our

DNA and soul make up

are the same and will

never be broken for

all souls are spirit by

nature and are the same

only not all evolved

or connected to such

an extent that they have awoken

 to their true soul self

where fear has no place as

we are fully evolved into

the Love and Light energy

love you always

xxx .

 

 

 



17 years to the day - A hard road travelled and a part of who I am xx

It is Saturday now the boys have gone camping and I have been rostered on to work  in the mornings so I wanted to start this post now this afternoon between playing on the internet and doing my own housework and cleaning, I also decided to make some Pumpkin soup for my dinner so I had better start it now before I get stuck into this..

At about 3 years old he has car sick bands on

It has been 17 years to the day since my baby of 5 years old got called back home it is a time of reflection of thinking about who he was a little bundle of joy that loved to take risks at his tender age he was so full of life and got up to all sorts of mischief he loved the outdoors and got into a lot of things as soon as he could walk he was climbing the woodshed at age 2, not to mention the wheelbarrow full of wood, he was climbing out the bedroom window or trying at the age of 3 he even ran away from home once looking for his dad that had taken his sister for a drive in the ute he was found at the nursery for the lady lived up the road from us and seen him wandering so took him back to her work place which was a garden place not far from home, boy did I go into a panic then for you only have to turn your back for a minute and the adventure begins for your toddler. He loved to jump and play on the lounge he was so lively and always had a smile..
I've just been going through what is left of the short life of Phillip for all I have that remains is left in a box it has the sympathy cards, his school work and little bits and pieces of art he made at school or pre-school the newspaper with one of the stories in it of his passing, his birth record book, his death certificate and coroner report plus I have his school bag which has his little wallet, it still has a dollar in it 5 x 20cent pieces, a knitted monkey and octopus I made for him, a bicycle helmet some PJ's and a few little toys. I don't pull these things out very often for in my cupboard they remain.. Also there is a book his little classmates made for us after his passing.

Here was one newspaper article I think there was another but didn't get a copy it doesn't quite tell all of what happened as it wasn't the branch that struck Phillip but the whole tree as I heard that tree bounce of my son's head while I was keeping my 2 year old busy in our vehicle, when I went over to him I let out this guttural scream that I hope never have to do again and he was just laying there perfect with no blood on him or anything I remember looking up skywards at the trees as I screamed, for I knew it was too late..

Reflecting on the accident and thinking of all the events that led up to Phillips time to return home, he knew he was going I think I've told this story before but will add it again .. I have been reading about our soul pre-birth plan a book by Robert Schwartz and I believe that this was planned by my sons soul but I also had a part in this plan for I also sub consciously knew it as well the reason I say this is because of little things I remember like praying to God when he was 20 days old and in having a hernia operation after he was left a bit limp and had bile coming out of his mouth as the hernia was blocking his bowel he was sent straight down to Melbourne children's hospital while he was in surgery I remember asking god not to take him just yet at least let him go to school and learn how to write his name and that is how far he got before his call home came. Phillip also knew before hand his time was up for he told me so when I asked him a question I had read in a magazine some one had asked their kids about a new baby of which I really did want to add to our family so I asked him this "If we have another baby where do you think he could sit like in the car and where would this baby sleep?'" Phillip then explains to me "that the baby could have his place because he wasn't going to be here" he said it with such a straight innocent and serious voice" I don't think I said anything at the time just filed it away for later but I can still clearly see him sitting on that chair near the kitchen table as he said it.. There was also the incident of my other baby of 2  years old waking up screaming about Phillip and a tree he done this on 2 or 3 different nights, the boys shared the same room so they would of both been getting messages from the angels I believe. Then on that afternoon of the accident when we had finished lunch at my parents we both hoped in the 2 different vehicles my 2 eldest hoped in the car with their Nan and Pop to go and get the second load of wood and I was strapping the 2 year old into his baby seat and he was really screaming for his brother Phillip which he had never done before it was a bit of a panicky scream because he knew what was about to happen for he seen it in his dreams. I also knew of our soul plan because of that feeling of dread I had for months coming up to that day of course at the time I had no idea or maybe I did as I kept praying for nothing to happen to any of my kids as not long before a school friends sister had lost a baby to Sids I think I had that feeling of dread as if something was going to happen so thinking back and reflecting my soul knew of this plan that Phillip wouldn't be here for long just by the events that happened leading up to and even on the day of the accident when Phillip was sitting in our car for the first load of wood I looked back and seen his aura shining and thought to myself how angelic he looked all these images and events are clear in my mind as when you lose a child all these little events replay over in your mind and it is like a slow running movie, but you tend to push that down into the never never land of your soul just so it doesn't hurt when you think about it, that is how you cope with such traumatic events or that is how I coped over the last 17 years, you can go about your daily business and do what you have to do as long as those emotions are filed away in a place that doesn't hurt you. We all cope differently to things that stress us out a lot turn to alcohol, drugs or some other addictions just so they don't have to face that pain. I guess I just filed it away in the back of my mind and soul and worked my way through it from within so silently as I never ask for help with any of my emotions I can tell you now my heart was closed it wasn't until a few years ago it fully opened again so I could feel not only my emotions but I have become more sensitive and pick up on everyone else's. I am empathetic I know I always have been but I think I filed that away as well and blocked it off as a child maybe because I couldn't work out why I had all these feelings and being shy was my protective wall against saying what I felt but also having to deal with others energy and emotions..
I will close it off there as I don't want to think about it any more and I am feeling a bit tired and teary..

Phillip 14 months a Christmas shot and Jessica

I hope you have enjoyed meeting my little boy and ball of energy that he was and still is.. I do love him so much still with all my heart for he is a part of my soul make up as are all of your own kids.. When a mother loses a child a piece of her soul goes back to spirit with that child that has crossed over to home.. it does leave a gapping hole in your heart that will never be filled, comfort does come in knowing where our souls go and that we will meet up again when it is my time to end.. The pain of losing a child is one that is so unbearable when it happens you become numb of all feelings and just go about your day in auto pilot for you know you can't stop even though your own world just did the day your babies spirit went away. You learn to live with the loss of a child but it is something that never goes away others don't know how it feels unless of course they have been through it themselves it is a pain I wish on no-one but I know it is a part of life and also a part of our own soul growth for it does bring a lot of parents closer to their own spirituality which is a reason why it happens, but from the soul of the child that has left early it means  their soul lessons are done on earth and some only come to experience the birthing process or a very short time on earth as the soul sometimes changes it's plan and needs to return home it is all fascinating stuff but it does scare a lot of people and brings out fear in them when you talk about spiritual and spooky stuff like this as a part of that is our human brain is not conditioned to think this way for we have been conditioned since birth to have different belief's.. Some even think you are nuts or from out of space in reality we all are for the universe is bigger then a human mind could comprehend and it is all part of the universal energy system that keeps us all alive..  I should also mention how hard it was for us to have to celebrate my daughters 7th Birthday the day before we had to bury my son it must of been hard on her as she also witnessed the whole accident and she was with him till the end she was his soulmate as they never left each others side they were 15 months apart.. I forgot to also mention that my 2 yr old seen his brothers spirit up on the roof above his coffin on the day we went to view him and say another goodbye I took the 2 kids along so they knew for themselves where their brother was. I was holding my two year olds hand as we stood beside the coffin and my little son points up to the roof and says "what is Phillip doing on the roof" he wasn't tall enough to see in the coffin so that is not what he saw and I don't remember if he did look in he may of put a little present in the coffin as we left the viewing area (which was after he said that) it was on the Tuesday I think the day before Jessica's b'day.. I don't remember all details (most of the following weeks drew a blank) I do remember everything I felt as when you think about it in the following years they do all come back up, I do know I didn't want to eat or sleep just cry when no one was around, we did spend a lot of time at my parents place as that is where the community were bringing down food and things of comfort for us and we didn't have to face home without him there we done this for a few months I think ..

My little angel with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes..

a little ball of energy and fun..

love you baby till the day I die

xxx

On the 10th year anniversary I did make this scrapbook page I was a keen

scrap booker I haven't done it for a while too busy..

When Phillip died I listened to Mariah Carey's "Music Box CD" over and over all the  time it seemed to soothe my soul as nearly every song touched on how I was feeling..  I still can remember all those feelings I was having when listening to the tracks now so I do try not to, as I did pack it away for years I forgot I even had the  CD until I was reminded of it one day..

I will never forget you was also a very strong indication of

what I was feeling..

Without you - Mariah Carey

As she sings these words I did

remember my son bounding through

the door as he come home from school.

I also remember feeling how I didn't

want to go on with life either..

I knew I could not escape

because I had a family

to look after, I wasn't

worried about my welfare

at all as long as my

family were fed and looked

after I could wait.

I finally came out of that

slumber a couple of years

ago when my heart re-opened

I know why it did but that will

be another chapter of my life

if I have faith in what may

be, my dreams always have

come true so faith is what

I will cling to but my soul

is still missing you..

so I do feel alone a lot

of the time for the love

I feel is so intense..

love you always.

xxx

 

Reiki Jin Kei Do xx

Hello I've had a very spiritual weekend where all my chakra's have had a recharge and my energy vibration has been lifted up a notch so I can be attuned into healing with my hands which is Reiki. So my body has had four empowerments over the weekend and also some Reiki treatment as I had to give a couple and I received them back in return I was the only student so it was done at Louise's house but we were joined by a friend of Louise's that came for a review for her Reiki (I think she was at second stage) she was a beautiful soul so I was grateful to Bernadette for joining in this weekend as I did get to practice on her and she returned the favour and she is very psychic so when she gave me my Reiki she seen in her minds eye my son Phillip playing in my aura as she sees a lot of colours when giving or receiving Reiki. When having Reiki you can get a range of feelings no-one is ever the same for it is your own body that is receiving this energy to it will let you know what is wrong it can be something physical or emotional that needs healing it will be you that has to work it out for it may not happen straight away I myself have a 21 day period after my empowerment  for anything to happen. My workshop started on Friday night so I had my first session then and it finished at 10 o'clock and when I went back to my accommodation I couldn't sleep from the noise down below but more because I had cramps in my ankles and feet, also my right ear has been aching since so hopefully it means my clairaudience is on its way back in so I can hear spirit as I was asking that while having my treatment, also so I can see, feel, hear and know everything from spirit to pass onto other people in order to help them grow or be aware of this new energy and in how it may make them feel.. I shall let you know how I go I was feeling good today however I just looked at the clock and it is midnight so I better finish this post quickly and read some of the Reiki manual I was given.. With the first stage I can do self treatments and family or friends, pets so I may do 2nd stage another year I will see where this will take me as I have a lot more I want to do..

JIN KEI DO is the linage of the Reiki that I'm doing .. here is an online webpage if you want to see..

Dr Ranga Premaratna is going to be in Wagga this weekend but I have been rostered on to work both this weekend and the next so the timing for my first stage workshop was great as was the position of the accommodation I chose as it was only a walk away.. so spirit will always guide you to where it is you need to be we just need to listen to our intuition and follow our hearts as it will lead the way to where it is you need to go..



Here is the card I drew at lunch time from the Vintage Wisdom Oracle  "Reflection" of our life and how far we have come in this life time with all our struggles whether financially with relationships, family or friends each person or event has helped your soul grow that little bit more for when we enter life that is why we came to learn, to make amends with other souls from past life times that we may of not treated right or we had some other karmic debt to pay back. Karmic debt is a universal pay back system so your own soul energy is the trading term it is in each life we have to balance that debt so our soul energy needs to be even to do this we must consider how we treat people as we always have choices to make which way to go, the road of compassion, empathy and loving kindness or the choice of fear so showing anger or judgements of how others walk on their path. Our karmic debt is not always in the negative for all love and kindness is also repaid in your life and if your light shines it is sure to shine in any future  life you may plan. So in your quiet time of reflection look at all the memorable parts of your life and work out what soul lessons you think you might of gained and if those experiences or the people that have come and gone in your life have left you with lasting emotions if they have left you in a position that hasn't strengthened you it is time to let them go so all the emotion they still carry over you will no longer affect your soul forgive them and also yourself for what ever happened was meant to be and the lesson is now over. If you keep holding on to those emotions it means your lesson has not been learnt so you will most likely keep repeating them or your trapped emotions will show up in other ways and make you act out in fear so all emotions need to be released and lessons learned in order for you to move on to the next soul lesson you came here to learn. So reflect and release that which no longer serves you and replace all feelings with love and positivity that you are in a safe place and you are where you are meant to be right here and now where ever you are your own soul knows when it is time to move or bring about change for it will happen anyway when the timing is right. Love and light xx ❤

This song was chosen as the closing one of my Stage one Reiki session

Don't be afraid to love again to give or receive  from any source

as it will open your heart to hear the divine source it self for Love is

the highest frequency and energy and one that is your direct link to God and all of

the spirit realm including that of your higher self as well as your lower self for you

are connected in the centre of both or at least your energy and consciousness is.

It is now Thursday I keep getting so tired I don't finish my post as I started this on Monday I have been sending a lot of love energy to those I think need some of my energy as I am pure love and light in the eyes of spirit I know they can see my crystal light shining as I feel the divine love inside of me. It is coming up to the anniversary of when Phillip had to return home that is on Sunday so I might take him up some new flowers that I have had sitting on my table for about a month so they have plenty of home energy on them for him, he already knows they are for him as when you return to spirit you are never far from your soul family for you are always connected through your heart and soul with love and only a thought will bring them closer to you and they do leave signs, you may not always notice them though you may sense them from smells, butterflies, birds, dragonflies, songs what ever you associate your loved one with some times they may even brush near you or touch your hair, you personally always sense this but may brush it aside.

It is now Friday I had a busy morning I got up early and went to work then I had to go see the Optometrist about my contact lenses as I've been having a 2 week trial I do like using them and got the hang of installing them the first day was a bit tricky but by the end of the week it was easy only I didn't have the correct strength as one eye is worse then the other I am myopic so need them to see long distance I don't need them to read a book up close but with contact lenses I may need to use weak reading glasses a bit of trial and error to come I think I will pick up my subscription next week . After that I had a doctors appointment nothing drastic just a new script to be written for my hypertension all my blood tests were great from the last test which was earlier in the year also a referral to another doctor for  woman bits to be tested, not nice but a part of being a woman and I have had lots of reminder letters to have it done so I thought I better be safe then sorry later if any thing was to be picked up I will need an operation at some point though for I know of a little problem that needs to be fixed. Then groceries and when I got home the silly dog was out, he is a real Houdini and goes down to a house down the road and gets in their cats door the lady is not too impressed it isn't the small dog I've put up pictures of but my sons dog who is rather large (a kelpie cross) he is well behaved apart from escaping and being an unwanted guest. So the lady came up just as I was heading to work I didn't have time to go catch him and I ended up walking to work for my car also got hot and wouldn't start so the dog ended up following me to school as I walked past him and he really did enjoy that walk but when I got to school I had to find my son to walk the dog back home they were having lunch and I had to start work and the dog was in the school yard he loves kids as well but he stunk as he was rolling in something smelly all ended well only the son said he should of stayed home for he only had art in the afternoon.. So my morning was a bit hectic but all is well just one of those days you are glad to get home and put your PJ's on and relax.. Up early again tomorrow for work..
I have just drawn a couple of cards to add to this blog.. after seeing a few toadstools on my walk yesterday at the golf course I thought of fairies so wanted to use that deck..

Mother Nature puts on some beautiful displays you can just imagine the fairies and

elves playing under these little toadstools..

I have drawn 2 cards from the Healing with the Fairies deck and they would like you to take a bit of time away on a "Vacation"  it doesn't have to be far just a bit of time out for yourself away from any pressures you may have in life even if it is just for a day or afternoon out in the fresh air amongst nature having a picnic in the park or a walk on the beach what ever you enjoy doing to have a bit of alone time or family time, for we get so caught up in work, family matters and the daily grind we forget to take in a bit of fresh air and to get out of the house or it may be time to start planning a bigger get away if you love to travel .. The second card is "To be honest with yourself" so you know what it is you need to do for our feelings and our body always let us know when we are not being true to who we are or why it is we came here to have a life. We will constantly have a nagging voice come from within us to let us know we need change or when something just isn't working out any more, our soul usually knows first it is just our ego and fears which stop us from facing the inevitable whether it be from relationships, jobs or career moves our gut will know it is time to move on to the next stage of our life, we may not know what that is straight away so we delay any progress being made as we go into denial and tell ourselves it will be right and in steps that ego to say yes! you must be right but you still have that urging or feeling within your gut that what you are doing  needs to come to an end.. Also to speak and express your own truth for we all have one and that is who we are at a soul level not the masked person of how we want others to see us or how we think they expect us to  be.. xx love and light xx

Nickelback - Far Away
Yay!! finished this post it has only taken me all week
I will work on a post for Phillip next for he brought
me to this place of spirituality that I am in if it wasn't for
him and wanting to know where his spirit went when he
left to go back home at such a young age.

You are so Far Away

but close to my heart and soul

You know I love you

because our souls are

so connected in a spiritual

way we are the half of

a whole and that soul is

universally big and a

part of the creative source.

Where divine and unconditional

love is the only thing that is

real, for it feels so intense

sometimes I just have to fill

you up with it if you have lost

your way, I know it will

bring you back around as

it has always been there

through every life time for

we are never far apart for our

Golden hearts are so connected

even when we are apart.

For I am only half of the whole of

who we are..

love you always

xxx

 

 

Your Shadow Self xx

G'day it is now Saturday and it is raining here so just doing some housework and cleaning things up I should really de-clutter my craft room here where I sit and it may help me be uncluttered with my time or at least help me be a bit more organised as one never seems to have enough hours in a day before your eyes want to close at night and I don't get any reading in and I have so much to learn and lots of books to catch up on so maybe sometimes feel a bit overwhelmed with what I have to do. Priorities is a word that just popped in my head so one needs to work out what is important in your life at this very moment for what you do now will decide on your future.

 I have just drawn a card this morning and I am to talk about our "SHADOW SELF" I touched on that last night with the mask we wear in front of others which is the deep dark emotions that we keep to ourselves so our shadow self in one that is also called our ego and it likes to keep our fears in check and talk us down or out of things we want to achieve but it is also that little lurker that makes us react in fear when we are faced with our soul truths of what it is we need to work on for our souls to evolve. Our soul is made up of many energies that come to us from spirit so in our humanness our ego gets a ride it is our dark side as we live in a world of duality and each soul has a dark and a light side like the sun and moon earth does too for when the dark side of our soul appears it will make us most likely turn to addictions, or treat others with contempt for only our soul appears kind, compassionate, full of love and  integrity when it is emerged in the light so we really need to face all fears and let the dark side of our soul disappear, it does show its self on occasion in our life when we are faced with soul growth emotions brought on by events like grief, and break up of relationships or shattered dreams our shadow side of our soul will have us turning to addictions such as alcohol or drugs something to mask the light side of your soul.. The only solution to ridding or limiting your shadow side of the soul is to show more light, love and compassion towards others but mainly towards yourself for all you have been through was for a reason one to balance your soul energy and growth as that is why we came to earth for our lessons as it is only as a human our soul will grow and eventually evolve so all that shows is our light our love and that part of the divine that created our souls.. We often go into dark nights of our souls without even realising for those are the days you just want to be alone and shed all the emotions over past or present emotional events that have happened in our lives some things get buried so deep in our souls we like to pretend it isn't there but it stays and feeds your fears and your ego as it rears its ugly head when you least expect it that is why it is essential to forgive your self and others  as well as to let those emotions go out to the universe for they do your soul no good, your soul needs to have your heart open so you can hear your direct guidance from above when you are in doubt your guidance is blocked so your conscience may start to make your freewill  choices  have you travel a harder road and create more karmic debt which is a balance of energy that will have you pushed and pulled in life as your soul is trying to make amends for the choices you made in a past lives with how you treated others for out of fear we treat others like crap for it is our shadow self that really needs working on to release the fears we show others, for everyone is a mirror of your soul and it will be the fears you see in each other so will react accordingly.. If you always come from a place of love you will only ever see the good in others and if you can't find anything good you will simply walk away for you know they have plenty of soul growth and fears to fix within themselves. So take a conscious look at yourself with how you interact with others and see if you notice your shadow side make an appearance if you do go look at your self internally and get rid of the fears you have release them to heaven to bring you peace of mind and know that your soul has just grown from the lesson you gave or got from others. Our soul is made up of energy and is always looking to have a balance of dark and light so we can be at peace with who we are and start to appreciate why we came to have life lessons for we all came for different reasons depending on our past lives and what it is we need to fix in the way of energy whether we came from a place of darkness in dealing with others in another life cycle you will want to create more light in how you treat others, so you may be a more compassionate person then you were in a previous life but it will be shown to that soul you showed darkness to in another time and place of your souls akashic record..Our souls are never static they are always moving and evolving that is the energy in us that comes from above that moves our actions and reactions which how as a human we evolve and have evolved since the start of creation.. xx Love and light xx

Your Shadow self finds your fears to make your soul stronger if you face them then learn from the lessons provided some fears are present in this life from previous soul life cycles you have had so they will be phobia's or some sort of pet hate that you don't know why it exists. Fear like Love are both energies one dark and one light each soul has decide which one you wish to live by I chose light even when I go into dark times my light of love has always shone through it has  been through soul searching and letting things go that always brings me back up to the true soul self I am and have always been time on my own for reflection always has helped so I speak to my soul and it speaks to me in rationalising my emotions to bring me peace.

So the next card I pulled out from another new set of cards called the Romance Angels by Doreen Virtue.. This deck is about finding romance or your soul mate in life but before that happens we need to find our passions for what makes us happy and excited and our heart full and open are the things we love to do it could be our hobbies or being outside in the garden and open air the things we strive for and the things that bring us joy are the way to reignite a relationship with others is to share our passions with them or it is a great way to look after yourself and to come away from your fears so what ever you are passionate about will be a part of the light side of your soul so it will raise your vibration if you are filling that void with what it is you love it could also be music something that soothes your soul and ignites something in you that will drown out the dark side of your soul the more you do what you love the more true soul self you will be for your soul has long held passions you've brought in from other life times for you could be a renaissance men/women and levitate towards the arts of that era in this your current life time.. When you are passionate about something it will continue to come up in your life even if you have a break from it you will return for it is a part of your soul and it makes you feel whole which in turn will strengthen your relationships for you will come from a place of happiness and joy. It's great if you can find work in the field that raises your passion for you will forever be fulfilled with your work as it was most likely a part of your soul plan rather then just a job you are doing something that excites you. Doing things you love is a part of self care which causes the domino effect in all your relationships.

Love this song when Life's Challenges have us going down a road we know we

don't belong ask Jesus, God or your Angels for a bit of guidance and be open to

receive the blessings that will be sent to you...

The road hard travelled is the one you get your soul growth and lessons from.

One more song I do love Lady Antebellum and this

song - Need you now...

Sending love and light

Drop the shadow side of

your persona and let others

see your true soul.

If you are not sure who

that true soul self is.

Work hard at self reflection

on your life journey and how

far you have come.

Search for the lessons

you have learnt along the way.

Release all the emotions buried

deep for it will give your

soul a sense of peace.

Loving your self

for who you are is

your souls life goal

in any life cycle that

you promised to undertake.

To love always is the

energy a soul needs to

be in love with humanity

and to be of service to all

that you meet on your life

path for to have love and

compassion in your heart will

shine the light and bring a

sense of hope and peace to

those that you meet.

Love you always

no matter where you

are for you are a part of

my soul energy.

By VMB

xxx